Lost in the Woods

I’ve lost the trail in the forest and it’s getting cold.  I know where the trail is but as I wander through the woods, tripping over fallen logs, wading through dead leaves, I wonder when I will find my way again.

Things are still difficult for me both physically and mentally.  I am so grateful for the support and love from my husband and mother.  Having pets to care for keep me getting out of bed and moving each day, however aimless it seems.  Love and dependence keep me going.

It is sometimes difficult to separate the pain and fog of chronic illness from the inertia and cloudiness of depression. Yet I know that sadness has crept into my life as I cannot focus or motivate.  As I try new medications to ease the pain and other symptoms (some are actually working), I wonder if the new chemicals in my body are causing my inability to move forward in life though my doctor assures me this is not the case.

The intellect in me knows getting depressed is normal when coping with chronic illness but it is new for me. I’m a fighter not a quitter.  I buck the norm and dare to be different.  I thrive on adventure.

I can navigate my way back on the trail but wonder how long it will take me to get there.

 

 

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Published by

LBWebb Coach

Passionate, compassionate, opinionated.

3 thoughts on “Lost in the Woods”

  1. Laura…I’m so sorry you are going thru this difficult time. Beneath the bravado of telling the world
    (and ourselves) that we will get back on track, the devil on our shoulder whispers in our ear, “Yeah,
    but what if you don’t?”

    Honey, it’s a terrifying, pain filled, depressive time you are in…at the moment. It WILL pass and you
    WILL recover and you WILL find your way back to the trail…it’s what YOU do, it’s who YOU are.

    It’s normal and right for you to feel the way you do, you fight against it because it goes against every
    thing you believe in and hold dear and true and fear losing all that forever.

    Rest during this hard time, embrace it all, feel everything, give yourself 30 minutes every day to think
    your darkest, blackest, most terrifying ‘what ifs’ then put them away and enjoy the rest of the day.

    Remember…one day sometimes one hour at a time, it will pass, it will ease up and you will get better!

    I have all faith in you.

    Much love and keeping you in prayer, dear friend! Texas Carol

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