My Journey Towards Mindfulness


Listening to my dogs and husband’s breathing while they slept the other night reminded me that taking slow deep breaths relaxes me and eases anxiety. Stress and letting go are constant battles in my brain.  The former can aggravate chronic and mental illness and pain.  I practice yoga and other exercises that are gentle on my body  (though, admittedly, not lately) and learned some time ago the value of deep breathing.  Not the most disciplined person, I find myself needing more – a tangible, realistic way of letting go of circumstances that are toxic to my brain.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Watching Anderson Cooper on a 60 Minutes report on mindfulness, my curiosity piqued when Cooper said research of the practice showed positive results for sufferers of chronic illness.   Jon Kabat-Zinn founded the Stress Reduction and Relaxing Program (later renamed the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in 1979.  While he studied Buddhism, Kabat-Zinn prefers taking a scientific approach to mindfulness and apparently, it works.  American Mindfulness Research was created in 2013 to support empirical and conceptual data as well as develop best practices.

According to the website: www.mindful.org: “Mindfulness is the innate ability we have to be present, composed, and to pause before we overreact to the challenges of our busy lives.”

I’m intrigued that practicing mindfulness can improve physical, as well as, mental health.  The practice may also improve eating habits and insomnia.  Through research and practice, I hope I can better manage stressful situations – especially those that I cannot change – and improve my health.  Never before disciplined with daily meditation, I recently started listening to a podcast offering free mindful meditations (Mindful Meditations) before sleep.  I think I’m ready to take the next step and practice mindfulness in my daily life.

In addition to the websites mentioned above, I’m reading two books by Jon Kabat-Zinn:

Mindfulness for Beginners 
Wherever You Go, There You Are  

I welcome comments from readers who practice mindfulness and anyone who wants to join me on my journey.

Be Inspired – Nelson Mandela


Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” — Nelson Mandela

I watched with detached interest as Mandela walked from prisoner to prime minister of S. Africa in 1990.  One might think that growing up with parents active in the 1960’s civil right movement, that I would be captivated by the events but S. Africa was far away and I was busy with my graduate studies in social work.

An amazing story of Mandela's life.  One of the better written autobiographies.
An amazing story of Mandela’s life. One of the better written autobiographies.

It was several years later when I read Nelson Mandela’s autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, that I became enamored by the man whose broad beautiful and joyful smile belied a challenging life and brilliant mind.  I counsel and write about overcoming obstacles and how challenges are vehicles that strength us and teach us.    Nelson Mandela was one of those rare people who lived with grace, forgiveness, inner strength, and an incredible understanding of the human nature.  He also struck me as a leader and hero who accepted his role ending apartheid but never let his ego get the better of him.  Maybe this was partly due to the tragedies he endured throughout his long life.  He just seemed so darn approachable and the interactions with people seen on television seemed more than just for the sake of a 10 second news byte.

I believe we can all learn from Mandela.  He was a lawyer, civil rights activist, prisoner, world leader, peacemaker, and AIDS activist.  He was a husband, father, and grandfather.

He did not wallow in self-pity nor did he try to capitalize on his suffering. Rather than looking back, he looked forward in his work in overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles with quiet charm and an engaging smile.

Nelson Mandela was an imperfect human with faults.  His wife said he had a temper and when he was angry – look out.  His daughter honestly shares her frustration and sorrow growing up without a father and while she visited him while in prison, she was sad that he was not home with her and frustrated that she could never be touched by her father on these visits and when released from prison, she still rarely saw her father as he led South Africa through the new anti-apartheid rule.  I think this is what I admire most about the man.

Mandela understood that bringing people together through sports would lead to post-apartheid peace
Mandela understood that bringing people together through sports would lead to post-apartheid peace

“Man’s goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never extinguished.” — Nelson Mandela

I challenge myself and all readers to consider how we can live a bit more like Mandela in the coming year.  Instead of allowing obstacles overcome us, let’s overcome obstacles with patience and creativity.  Instead of blaming others, let’s find the good in others and forgive.  And perhaps most importantly, let’s smile through it all.

Be Inspired by Mandela

Personal Development in the Web of Life


I first posted this a year and a half ago and it remains the most popular viewed posting.  I’ve thought a lot about why it is such a popular topic and I think, at least partly, we all seek ways for improving ourselves, not because others want to but for our own satisfaction.  I also believe personal development is a life long endeavor and crosses all cultures, races, religious preferences, and health.  Why? Because no matter our personal situation, we all seek ways to better our lives.  We all have burdens and obstacles throughout life but it is through personal development that we overcome those challenges and find joy. 

What does the term personal development mean to you? When coaching clients, I consider personal development to be

My first patchwork afghan for my niece

whatever helps them to grow as an individual. Personal growth can include continuing education, learning a hobby, or even starting a new job or business.  Perhaps you have always wanted to learn how to knit or take up photography.  People who suffer from chronic illness or pain, it is important to consider what is realistic when exploring ways to develop personally.

octopus in Nisyros, Greece

As I have mentioned in previous posts, the Web of Life is integrative with each of the segments relating to the other.    Personal development should provide you with fun and joy.  It may be a means to make friends or help better understand your health.  Personal development may also lead to a job that becomes a satisfying career which in turn improves a financial situation.  Of course, all of this depends on personal interests and priorities but this gives an idea of how the Web of Life works.

Some people have asked where religion is on the Web of Life and I believe it belongs in personal development.  Not everyone is religious but those who are spiritual or religious use their beliefs to offer inner strength and personal growth.  For many, God gives the strength to continue each day despite daily pain.  Religion is a personal experience and how one finds or uses spirituality is a developmental process.

For people with chronic illness or pain, it may seem difficult to consider personal development as  life already may seem overwhelming just trying to survive each day.  But it is critical to find something that brings enjoyment and personal growth.   The key is having a sense of purpose.  Personal development can help lead to finding the purpose and joy that even those of us with chronic illness and pain deserve.

For more information about how I may help your personal development or other parts of yourWeb of Life, contact me for a free exploration session at laurawebb@lbwebbcoach.com.

Frankly, Scarlett, You’re Remarkable


I finished reading Gone With the Wind recently.   While I’ve seen the film several times and never tire of Clark Gable’s suave Rhett Butler or Vivien Leigh’s seemingly flighty yet head strong Scarlett, I never took the time to read the tome.  Perhaps the size of the book was so daunting that I never thought I’d get through it.   Living in the south now as well as my kindle made it less intimidating and I confess that I was sorry the story ended.

Not surprisingly, the movie depicts a very small part of Margaret Mitchell’s saga despite its length.  Elements including Scarlett’s other children and that the role the Ku Klux Klan played on her second husband’s death are just two examples that the movie dropped.  What struck me most, however, was Scarlett’s development from shallow, detestable teen to reluctant savior of her family and Tara and, I dare to say, a feminist.

gone-with-the-wind-fullScarlett is one of the most interesting and transformed characters in literature.  Born a southern belle with nothing to worry about but beaus and her Ashley, Scarlett soon departs from her tranquil plantation life to Atlanta where the war soon intrudes on her pleasant life.  In short order, Scarlett’s world falls apart and she begrudgingly becomes a midwife, caretaker, and very successful business woman.

Scarlett’s survivor instinct and carefully calculated  actions are admirable and perhaps give a hint about how it was the women’s ingenuity that rebuilt the fallen south after the civil war.  Scarlett survives the most difficult unforeseen obstacles yet rarely finds a problem impossible to solve.   The only time Scarlett said, “I can’t” was when forced  to play midwife for Ashley’s wife, Melanie.  Marriage, murder, buying saw mills, were all motivated by the red dirt of Tara, her family plantation. Facing one tragedy after another, Scarlett planned (some may say calculated) whatever action necessary to accomplish her goal:  the saving and rebuilding of Tara.  The downsides of a plan did not concern Scarlett.  “I won’t think of that now.  I’ll think of it later,” was how she dealt with the inevitable fallout from some of her actions.  Some viewed her as nothing more than a gold digger by marrying for money but Scarlett was more complex and intelligent than that.  Yes, Scarlett’s character is selfish and devious but she was not completely without compassion.  She was a farmer willing to get her hands dirty, a business woman and the owner of saw mills. Her need for Tara’s success was more important than weak human emotions.  And her refusal to feel hunger again drove her as it drove so many others who survived poverty and tragedy.

Despite war and famine, Scarlett knows that tomorrow is another day.
Despite war and famine, Scarlett knows that tomorrow is another day.

Change is hard but events happen beyond our control.  War, economics, loss of a loved one some times force us to alter our lives and we must adjust accordingly.  It’s risky. It’s unknown. It’s just plain

scarlett and rhettscary.   But when tough times hit, what is the alternative but to survive?   I don’t recommend following Scarlett’s path of insensitivity, cruelty, and deception.  Though by the end of the story, we learn that Scarlett’s eyes are finally open and, too late, realizes that Ashley was a weak man,  Melanie had an inner strength and fortitude comparable to her own, and admitted that Rhett Butler was the only man for her.

Was Scarlett able to win Rhett back? It seems unlikely considering her atrocious behavior and his famous departing line, “I don’t give a damn.”  But then again, Scarlett succeeded in every goal she set her mind to and I want to believe in happily ever after.

“After all, tomorrow is another day.”

Well said, Scarlett.

Motivating to Post 100


Such a dreary Monday.  It looks more like my hometown of Cleveland outside than Meridian, Texas.  My body aches on days like this.   After perusing the news websites I typically read every morning, and playing a few mindless games, I can’t seem to get started on any  projects. I opened a couple of writings that I hope get published someday, added a few words and promptly delete them. Is it too early to take a nap?

Our mustangs across the street are reminders that horses on our ranch are a must!
Our mustangs across the street are reminders that horses on our ranch are a must!

Lacking inspiration, I begin day dreaming about our future ranch.  We aren’t ready to buy now but it’s one of my husband and my life dreams.  Turning the dream into an achievable goal takes work – and more money.

When we settle into our dream ranch we will begin raising alpacas.
When we settle into our dream ranch we will begin raising alpacas.

I begin writing this post and hit ‘save draft’.  I move on to search ranches for sale.  There are a few that pique my interest and I further explore locations, square footage, and acreage.  I make notes of addresses and find the locations on my phone’s GPS.  I thought taking a detour from productivity by researching one of our goals may kick-start my motivation.

It stopped raining so maybe I’ll just take a little drive and check out a couple of properties.  Then again, maybe it’s finally nap time.

IMG_4432

The River


I see life as a river, born of the earth, merely a small trickling brook. As it leaves its point of origin, the stream quickly grows and expands

A babbling brook meets gravity
A babbling brook meets gravity
Drops of water can quickly grow into a river
Drops of water can quickly grow into a river

into a river. Throughout its life, forces, such as geography and climate, aid the river’s development.  It flows and grows, full of endless possibilities.  The water’s boundaries expand and branch off, exploring other options.  Occasionally, obstacles appear, hindering  movement. But a river must keep moving towards its destination so it flows over and around rocks, dislodging logs, pushing difficulties aside.  At times, drought may zap its strength and hurricanes may overwhelm.  But a river persists.

Winding through life, tributaries meet the river and it builds strength and quickens, sometimes losing control.  It churns and swells, frustrated, angry with the overwhelming obstacles.   But it has only one direction to move, forward, and obliterates any impediments.  It weaves around boulders, pushes aside hindrances. Thankfully, the tantrum never last long.  Eventually the river returns to normalcy, again ebbing and flowing through life. There is nothing a river cannot overcome.

Picture 011

Throughout our life, we grow, push boundaries, face and overcome challenges.  We make goals, develop plans of action, and, like a river, move forward. Even when we feel overwhelmed and seemingly insurmountable obstacles block our path, we somehow push through.  Our goals are achieved, perhaps not as anticipated, but better, more satisfying.  And that gives us the confidence to keep moving forward with new goals, new dreams.         
The river in San Antonio appears calm and at peace.
The river in San Antonio appears calm and at peace.

Tips from my Website


You can conquer any mountain
You can conquer any mountain

Below are tips for sufferers of chronic illness from my website LB Webb Coach.  Check out more useful information at www.lbwebbcoach.com
Please Note: It is important to talk with your physician, physical therapist or other licensed professionals before trying new physical activities or tools.

Find a Trusted Medical Professional – Communicating with your physician is critical. This is the most important advice I can offer.   Go to appointments with lists of questions.  I can offer suggestions on how you can self-advocate.  If you are not comfortable with your physician and (s)he minimizes your concerns, find another!! Talk candidly about medications and if one doesn’t work, explain how it makes you feel and try something else. If unable to find a physician who doesn’t listen or make you feel valued, acupuncturists, physical therapists, and other health professionals may help.

A Trusting Ear – Good mental health is an important part of your health program. It is important to have someone to share frustrations as well as successes. Ideally, everyone needs multiple people they trust depending on the circumstances. Family members, friends, professional therapists, life coaches can all be considered. The key is finding someone who you know who does not judge you, accepts you, and appreciates you.

Exercise – Start slow and easy but do something! Whether walking for 5 minutes; sweeping the floor; practicing tai chi or yoga, it is very important to get into a routine of using muscles and joints. Swimming is probably the best exercise for chronic pain and illness as it easier on joints and muscles. Many pools offer classes specially designed for people like us.

I knitted this baby blanket for a loved one.
I knitted this baby blanket for a loved one.

Find a Hobby –  Knitting, crotchet,  creating scrapbooks, photography, bird watching, gardening or anything that is pleasurable for you and takes your mind off your pain is important.

Massage – Many people in pain (particularly fibromyalgia patients) cringe at the idea of anyone touching let alone massaging muscles. Communicating with the massage therapist can make the experience both pleasurable and helpful.

Pampering – Part of the massage experience feels good because it’s important to be good to yourself.  If massages are not comfortable, try a manicure and pedicure (not just for women anymore).  Going to a matinee, museum or having lunch with friends can  feel like a treat.

Warmth – Baths, hot compresses and heating pads, preferably moist, provide temporary relief.

Massage Foam Rollers – Using gentle pressure on targeted areas by moving the roller back and forth on the floor can be very painful in some areas at first. But even doing a few times at first, muscles are more relaxed and fascia (connective tissue that surrounds muscles and nerves) are lengthened and softer.

TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) Unit – TENS is a pocket-size device that sends electrical impulses to block pain signals. Electrical currents are mild but can ease specific areas of pain. TENS is not helpful for migrating pain.   NOTE: Ask physician or physical therapist about TENS and how to use it properly.

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I can help you live a joyful life.  Contact me for a free consultation at laurawebb@lbwebbcoach.com